bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
