in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
