atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Is Oprah even human
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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