How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
