Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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