Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
