the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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