He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
