I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We talked him into tasing himself.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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