He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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