Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
