i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she peed on how many people?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
