is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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