East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
