oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
