you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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