every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
