Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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