Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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