Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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