He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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