I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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