When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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