he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
