it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
