Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
