hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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