other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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