Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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