Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
