1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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