We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
