i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize