There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
