when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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