So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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