awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
