i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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