Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
