i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
