Your face is a jimmy john
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
