I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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