Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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