Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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