apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
