Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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