i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
