Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
