hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
