Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone

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(708): Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone http://tfl.nu/40xl

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(214): View more from Texas

She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

Replies (37) Good night (8126) Bad night (554)
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(517): View more from Michigan

The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1

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(517): The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1 http://tfl.nu/3zzc

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

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(732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6

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(609): View more from New Jersey

we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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(609): we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding? http://tfl.nu/9jac

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(805): View more from California

Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke

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(805): Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke http://tfl.nu/mqiv

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties

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(731): He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties http://tfl.nu/51c2

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(732): View more from New Jersey

WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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(732): WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"? http://tfl.nu/186c

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(208): View more from Idaho

Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.

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(208): Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon. http://tfl.nu/yvgl

Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (529)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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(503): Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight. http://tfl.nu/viha

Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (463)
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(914): View more from New York

Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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(914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43

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(720): View more from Colorado

I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.

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(720): I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo. http://tfl.nu/cdzc

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(315): View more from New York

He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

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(315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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(270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80

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(347): View more from New York

I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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(347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc

Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (209)

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