And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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