I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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