Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
