GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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