sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
