This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
