Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
