Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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