Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
