This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
