I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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