office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
