Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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