this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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