i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
