she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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