We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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