Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
