so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
