It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
