Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
